Thursday, September 15, 2005

My Spiritual Situation

So, there it is. I laid it on the line. I actually hope I don't get any 'advice', but would rather hear from people who are similarly struggling or who have come through and are finding ways of being a purple christian, or a liberal universalist charismatic....nah, none of the labels really work.

And, in summary, the struggles were:

  1. How do I find (where does it come from?) motivation/energy/love to mature spiritually now that I reject fear whenever it comes up as my main motivation to grow?
  2. If God is really personal, then why am I not more directly pursued --why does it seem I have to 'make the first move'?
  3. How do I move into a new kind of purple spirituality and actually live out my new theology (like changed beliefs about the cross, the nature of salvation, mission, God, etc)
  4. Lack of Spiriritual community. Do I 1)Find the smallest, closest church --no matter what they are like --and enter into their community life? 2)Find the spiritual community that best fits my present core beliefs and commit there? 3)Start a small group at home (or somewhere) and start being church as I understand it best to be?

Yeah, something like that.

Oh yeah, and the long, occasionaly boring recording of my spiritual autobiogaphy is here.


Leifh said...

I taught a High School worldviews class in 2004. Here are their responses (in a journal experiment) to a related question:

“If God exists, why does God seem so hard to hear, get to know, feel loved by, etc?”

I’m not entirely sure. I think if god really does exist, than its not a matter of hearing what he says as a matter of truly paying attention to the messages. I think some people really fear the answers to their dilemmas especially when it includes change and therefore (they) refuse to pay attention to what’s right in front of them.

I think that sometimes people just need to stop and listen in their lives –they have too much going on around them to notice. When its summer and I’m not doing too much, I seem to notice God more, acknowledge more things around me –I have time to just stop. When I’m in school, busy everyday…I seem to forget about God –I get distracted by “Life”.

I honestly don’t believe that there is a “God” but I do think that there are forces out there (I) think about it as a force no one can explain or understand ?one we live around love. So in a way, I don’t think it is supposed to speak to you or function it is just something you can’t help. So if there is a “God” there is no need for him to show himself –you’ll just know. Like Love.

If God does exist, it is hard to hear, see, know be loved by, so ?? that is everywhere. It’s like a person with a loud speaker or a ?concert? -its loud enough, and is alive, talking…but the surrounding noise is distracting. So all you have to do is cut out the surrounding noise and focus on the voice.

We take ourselves so seriously! Perhaps we can’t hear or understand well because it is SO BIG! And we’re still protocells in the primordial soup. Someday, perhaps, we will be on the level to hear him, but so far, we’re still too small. We must learn to look out, around, & ?. And yet, as yet, we’re still too young and small to hear clearly.

If god exists maybe we cannot hear him because we don’t believe in him anymore. Maybe k-mart and McDonalds has become our god and we have been so twisted by war and hate that god can no longer speak to us because we refuse to hear.

Because he doesn’t interact with us and I don’t want him to. We can do it ourselves.

It’s because communication with God is at a higher level than speaking or gestures, things that would make talking to God easier. This is not because God is “too good” for human speech, but because emotional and spiritual communication is much more powerful than anything else. For example, do feel love more by saying “I love you” to someone or do feel it more by embracing them? When you feel a strong emotion that seems out of place, that could be a communication from God. You just have to notice its there.

I don’t believe in God, so I don’t know that I identify exactly, but often I feel that it is hard to maintain a connection with my spiritual self. Maybe that is, in a way, the same thing. Sometimes I get so caught up in life and all that is going around me that I don’t stop to relax and allow myself to feel loed and connected to. Sometimes I feel like I’m so busy I don’t know who I am because I haven’t taken the time to be with myself. Maybe these things would also make it hard to get to know, hear, or be loved by God. I guess you could say God for me is in myself as a part of a higher connection. We all just nee to slow down and look at the sky, at a blade of grass, at a rock…

Because (one of my many explanations) people are too self-involved to listen. He/She/It is everywhere. Take the time to stop and just let it come to you. Also –it doesn’t exist on a human level. Its like asking why its so hard for a fish or cats or deer to understand humans. We are essentially a different species with vastly different functions. It would help if I could also explain more thoroughly who and what god is.

Leifh said...

(Posted with permission from an email)

Hello again,

I'm currently at work, but wanted to let you know I received your e-mail
and listened to your last podcast on spirituality. I must say it helped
put my own quest for spirituality in focus. I haven't reached the 'fear'
part yet and my quest is more to re-find my humanity which seems to have
been lost somewhere in the silicon jungle I've been in for the last 15
years. At this point I'm in a big turmoil as to how to start or exacty
how to go about seeking my spirituality. My day to day job is very
"un-spiritual" and very uncondusive to enlightenment, but it pays the
bills. In fact since I am at work I will have to cut this short, but I
just wanted to say hello and that I will be listening to more of your

best regards,


Dawn said...

Hey Leif, your mom gave me the link to your site and podcasts and I'm looking forward to checking out your program. Hopefully I see you guys over the holidays and maybe we'll have a chance to chat (what are your holiday plans?) I always find conversations with you and Anna interesting. Personally, my spiritual views were completely shaken by world events of the past few years, and by my own scientifically-driven mind, and for a once deeply-spiritual person, the world I find myself in now seems devoid of...something. I'm still looking, but I'm not sure what I'm looking for anymore. Anyhow, I've enjoyed poking around your site, and look forward to seeing you guys soon :-)

sync_ron_icity said...

You know Dr. Dave right?